Mistakes will be made on this road, but forgive yourself!

     I love God and I’m not perfect, but sometimes I feel like I have to be and at times it can get very exhausting. Do this and do that too many rules to abide by like I’m in the army or something. But rules are not always bad I must say sometimes rules are there to discipline you and to correct you in certain areas of your life, but too many rules can smother you and also make you feel like you are doing nothing right. Like I don’t have a choice. I’m just listening to what someone else is saying  & there has to be a balance.                                                                                                        

Too many rules can derail you from the path that you should be going on. God is not a rules based God. If I can be honest sometimes we live by so many rules because we feel like if we do this right and if we do this wrong, then God is going to take this from us and that from us. But that’s not what kind of God,God is. In fact who would want to serve a God like that. God is a loving God. He is a kind God and He is a forgiving and understanding God. Yes, he disciplines us when we need correction but He also knows our hearts as well. 

The issue of having so many rules I knew that somethings had to be changed in my life. Living my life unhappy, I could no longer do. Living a life that someone else wants me to live I could no longer do. Being pleasing to others and not true to myself I could no longer do anymore. I was tired. I’m not condoning anyone to sin, but I have to admit I am a Christian and I have sinned in my life. That’s something you don’t hear most people say, but I have to be honest so that you can be freed. & so that I can be free. But the moment I sinned, I did not feel bad about it, there was no condemnation. God didn’t make me fill guilty, but “I thought” I had let God down in my mind!!! & even though I sinned He did not turn away from me. He did not shun me and tell everybody or tell me to get out of his face. He was there for me and I felt His presence in my moment of suffering. The void that I had in my heart my entire life, He filled it. The moment I realized there was no way I could be perfect and God is not expecting perfection from me.  I was the only one expecting perfection from me. I knew that I was not perfect in my heart, but my mind hadn’t caught up with my heart yet. I was a perfectionist and it wasn’t good for me. & at this moment in my life during this time I wasn’t focused on rules. I wasn’t focused on had I read the Bible that day or had I said my prayers or had I fasted. It was just me and a loving God and there was nothing I really had to do for him to bless me. In fact, He wanted to bless me and He wanted to give me His love free of charge. Not based on my performance not based on anything I did for him, but because he loved me and I was his. I needed that love from God. I needed that assurance, my heart longed for it all my life. I needed to know that He really was going to love me in spite of me. Because I was no longer living in fear of God taking everything away from me that He gave me to please Him. But because I try my best, my heart is pure, I repent and I try to do the best I can do that God is pleased with me, and that he will never leave me nor will he forsake me, and if I can be honest I needed that from God. Even if I had to learn it in that way.                                                                                                               

When God says all things work together for the good of them who love the Lord. He filled something in my heart that day and that emptiness that was inside of me. So even though I sinned in order to feel Gods presence in that way, if I would have been so scared to take a risk or failed I would have never felt God in that way. I would not be able to genuinely tell you that when you make a mistake God is not there to beat you up, but He’s there to pick you up and even when you don’t have it all together it’s still okay because He who has began a good work in you will complete it.   & He will sanctify you and purify you.

Sometimes when we are in a relationship, we think we have to do this and that right for our significant others to love us and if we don’t do this right or that right. They may even take their love away from us, but God is not like that! Flaws and all, He still wants you, stuck in your mess. He still wants you! & that brings me Tears of joy! Music to my heart.     It’s amazing how when God shows me something that it’s not concerning one area in my life that it’s concerning multiple that I could re-evaluate. Living a rules based life on your job could unmotivate  you  and even in your relationships.

Christianity is not about a bunch of rules it’s about your personal relationship with God. Your marriage is not about a bunch of rules it’s about your relationship with that person. Don’t just have someone listening to your rules because of the fear of what may happen, but because they genuinely love and respect you, and when that happens following the rules will be easier with the guidance of the Lord. While I’m typing this God allowed me to bless you as well as He allowed me to bless myself and see things that I need to change. The reason He has allowed me to see this in myself is because He’s preparing us for something greater. & sometimes we can get so caught up in trying to find out what am I purposed to do or what am I supposed to be doing right now, when God is giving us baby steps to that destination.  That this is the guidance that you were praying for. God is telling us to change what’s in front of us the whole time so we can move to the very next step. I hope this has blessed you keep moving one day at a time and you will reach your God given destiny! I just want to leave you with God died for us because He knew we would never be perfect. He knew that mistake we made even before we did it, and He still had us in mind when He went to the cross for you and I. So if God has forgiven you, you should forgive you! Mistakes will be made on this road, but forgive yourself! Blessings!