I am strong, but I’m tired!

What do you do when life seems just a little bit too much to handle? What do you do after always being the strong one and you have nothing else to give, because you feel depleted. You just feel flat out tired, exhausted, and drained. People always know that they can count on you to do something, because your “the dependable one”, the “strong one,” but what if this time around you just don’t have the energy for it? Have you ever felt like you’ve just done all you can,and it wasn’t enough. I mean it was enough for you, but the people around you wanted more and more and more.

What do you do when everyone you see is pretending like everything is okay? & it’s really not? When trials and tribulations are overbearing, but you have to pretend not physically, but yet mentally that everything is fine. You don’t really have the time to face what you’re going through, because you know the next day, you have to get up and go to work in the morning because you have bills to pay, or you have to go pick your kids up from daycare so you have to pretend like everything’s fine when it’s not. You really have to pretend to a certain extent, that you’re not your worried, when you are in fact, worried. All of us has had to make major decisions, for some it’s sending your child back to school and for some, it’s going back to work for you whether you have an underlying illness or not. & you’re screaming on the inside because your reality is that you’re hurt. You are hurt by everything that’s happened this year, but you have to wear the face like everything is okay even when faced with uncertainty or difficulty. Even when on the inside your heart is screaming help and all you want to do is break down and cry. But there is nothing that anyone can do about it so you keep it to yourself. & subconsciously it’s building up on the inside of you. & little by little you’re carrying that weight on you. & Your patience is starting to run thin and you’ve started to feel burnt out. Because your working… and you have to pretend to a certain extent like this pandemic that we are facing is not even happening because you have to keep going on with life.

If I can speak for myself, I’d say that this pandemic has been something else or really has it? Has it been what life has been all along? We are living in a world where people are pretending like what we have been going through this year is normal. This is far from normal and for some people more than others, it’s beginning to take a toll on people’s mental health. Because if you thought life was hard before the pandemic, but now you have to live life with what you were going through at first plus a pandemic. I pray for grace over your life. Because this can be hard even for the strongest person. Domestic violence rates are rising, suicidal rates are rising, PTSD rates are rising, and substance abuse rates are rising. We are talking about the pandemic but yet do we rarely talk about the damage that it’s causing our people “mentally” as well.

What do you do when you’re so strong and usually nothing seems to bother you. But what happens when a dark cloud comes out of nowhere and just hits you. To the point that you don’t even feel like yourself. I had to write about this because just this week God had to deliver me and I believe that before I tell you about it. He allows me to go through it first, so that you can become healed, delivered, and set free as well. I believe that somebody needs this and somebodies life depends on it. Somebody felt like giving up, but as they read this, they will too see that they are not alone and we’ll get through this together with God.

I must say that this year has not been easy. I see people just pushing this pandemic under the rug like it’s nothing. It’s like a stigma, that people discredit or are ashamed of. But this is something that we’re all battling, but sometimes we tend to avoid it and make like it’s not happening. It’s the same thing that people do, when someone in their family is battling with something, but that they are afraid to talk about it so they keep it in secret. For instance, depression or something of that nature, and we don’t talk about it, but we hide it. Like it’s a bad thing. They tell us how many people are dying from Covid, but little do you hear about getting counseling about it. I do believe that we need to talk about it more and stop ignoring it like it’s an elephant in the room. We are all stressed by it. & one thing I’ve realized about people is that when something’s are wrong and you notice it, people will try to pretend like you’re the one-off when you confront it. But your right on point, certain things shouldn’t happen, and don’t allow anyone to gaslight you. You know what’s right and what’s wrong!

Just this week I’ve realized my stress level had been higher than normal, and it’s something’s that in my life that I need to change for the betterment of my life and my health. Because there’s only one of me! I read a devotion the other day about
Mary and Martha, and how Martha was so busy that she didn’t even have the time to rest at Jesus’s feet. And it’s like a lot of us we don’t have the time to rest at Jesus’s feet we let the issues in life consume us instead of telling our Father who is in Heaven about what we are going through.

I have been seeing a lot of bad customer service lately and I was asking God, why is He allowing people to keep testing me about something I’m paying for???? But I believe that God has been showing me a lot of stressed-out people from this pandemic. You think they are mad at you, but they’ve just become burnt out. I’ve learned that we have to take better care of ourselves and do the best thing for you and your family. I believe that we all have to find a way to adapt, but when we are adapting we are taking into consideration everything around us. We can’t adapt to something and pretend like these things are not happening. If you need to seek counseling I would encourage you to do so, sometimes we all need someone to talk to. But let’s work on being so busy in our lives, and not trying to avoid situations because, we can’t change what we avoid. For instance, if you know someone had a rough night, maybe got evicted from home, but because this person got an attitude you don’t take into consideration that this person may need grace. You never know what someone has been going through. God has been dealing with me on grace, because sometimes I need grace. I’m not saying that God is not still working on me with that, but at times I do try to take it into consideration, what if that was me and I just took my anger out on someone else not knowing what they were going through.

I think it’s time to stop pretending like everything is okay. Stop allowing people to make decisions for you. When you start to feel burnt out, don’t ignore that sign. Find out what’s going on with yourself! We’ve got some work to do for ourselves! I read a post that someone said the other day that you may not be responsible for what happened to you, but basically, you are responsible for your healing to take the necessary precautions for you and a better life for you! Yes, we are in a pandemic, but it’s not the end of the world, you can always make a change, sometimes, it feels like it, but God is still on the throne. I pray you were blessed! Until next time! Blessings!

For mental health. Please visit. Mental health resources visit: https://www.wsoctv.com/station/charlotte-s-hidden-crisis-county-by-county-mental-health-resource-guide/951444585/

Scripture that comes to mind:

Phillipians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.